So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
