im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
