im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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