he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
