and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
