mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
