Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
