i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
