she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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