Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
