he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
