just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
