so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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