I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize