I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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