I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize