I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
