he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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