its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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