Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
