you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
