chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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