Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
