That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
