So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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