The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
