CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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