Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
