I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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