ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
