I accidentally burped into my bong.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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