I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
