She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
