forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
two words: eviction party
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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