I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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