normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
