i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
