covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
