Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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