my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
