I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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