im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
