Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
