If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
