its not stalking. its research.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
