First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
