Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
