Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
