yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
