aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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