captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
