yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
