i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
