the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
