There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
