he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
