Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need a beard to bite.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
