Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
