It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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