I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
