we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
