I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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