Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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