I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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