Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
