Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm going to jail i love you
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
