He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
