how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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