THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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