Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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