i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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