Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
