Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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