If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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