his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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