Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
