We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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