Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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