I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
